Hipsterius Portlandae — the common Portland hipster. This indigenous species thrives in the secluded urban landscape of the Willamette Valley. Herds roam the wet pavement of Portland from Northwest Trendy-Third to Southeast Hawthorne, biking to impromptu gatherings at food carts, dive bars, and parks before heading to house shows to drink PBR and watch each other’s small indie bands perform. But there’s something unusual about this particular species that can make them difficult to identify:
An authentic hipster will never ever admit to being a hipster.